Will this change ever?


While researching for my book, I scrutinised the lives of some rape victims, and seriously the aftermath revealings of those incidences were disheartening, heart-breaking, and scary. I was frightened, panicked, scared, and for days ahead was constantly stuck by the horrified thoughts. No, no, those upsetting thoughts did not come from those rape stories. Definitely, the tales were disturbing enough, but like anyone else in the society, who, for a certain time, would feel pity on the victim, and then without boggling their minds over the incidence further, move ahead to next news because luckily it still has not happened with them, the hurricanes holding those incidences didn’t stormed my mind either after elapse of a certain period of time. But still even after a long time has passed, some thoughts are there which avalanche my mind often and always now-a-days.

I am afraid; I am worried; no, not as a woman, but as a mother of two sons. Rearing boys in the house is no more an absolute delight in today’s scenario. You feel pressurised to feed them with all the moral lessons, but you never know what they are taking from the society. I’m proud, indeed very proud to have these monkeys in my life, but recently when I overheard my elder one explaining his friend why he should get married, I was aghast. The alert motherly instinct prompted me to converse and try to change his perception by conducting a mock interview, but found him a little adamant in accepting this different reason of marrying. He had learnt from somewhere that one’s life is set when he marries a beautiful girl as she brings lots of wealth. Now, though all my queries are settled and I am somewhat assured that he doesn’t thinks like that anymore, still… still…. I am still doubtful how much quantum of my preaching has sunk in his little heart, and how much more such social quotes are still dug there in his subconscious mind.

Hearing my little one’s conversation, the tip of that iceberg which had made my mental state oscillate at the time when I had snooped my nose to find out the plight of those rape victims emerged on the top of those whirling waves again.


When I had first glimpsed my little bundles of joy, I was so overwhelmed, thanked god for blessing me with these soft minions, and had promised myself that I’ll always make sure that they do understand that the society comprises of two genders who by-birth have the same emotions, same flesh and have popped into the world from the same thing- a woman’s womb. But now I wonder that with their outer environmental indulgences whether they will even consider to listen what I had thought to make them engross in their heads. And searching for the root cause of his thinking I found that certain cartoon characters, which we make our children watch so that we can get a little time for other commitments, are making children perceive the things like this. The children, who do not even know how to do the additions properly, are gaining how to add to their wealth just by marrying.

Will we ever be able to put an end to this discrimination? Will ever the societal set-up stop poisoning the sub-conscious minds of these innocent creatures. We as parents try hard to instil the values in them, but still noticing the omnipresence of such patriarchal notions, I wonder how wise our children would be to still keep believing in our lessons irrespective of the feedings they are receiving from elsewhere.

I wonder whether my kids will understand what I intend to say when I teach them that respect everyone. Definitely, they do respect people, and then why do I nag them to treat women with dignity. I wonder whether they’ll perceive me to have lost my senses when someday I’d blast on them finding them winking on the road, as during their growing up days it definitely looked cool to see their favourite heroes wink on-screen. I wonder whether they will ever understand this, I wonder whether they’ll ever be able to understand that. I wonder and wonder and just wonder, because I cannot do anything apart from crossing my fingers and hoping that in the process of finding their individuality they realise that though the parents’ and teachers’ preaching are in contradiction with what they are observing around in the society, yet affirming to their elders’ sermon will help them be a person worth to be loved and trusted.

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